I’ve got fingerless gloves motherfucker. I admit the tips of my digits are slightly numb and fully-fingered gloves would have been warmer but it just means you can see my defiance clearer when I flip you the bird. I’ve got a gold puffer too bitch. It makes me look really fat but it has been stuffed with the down of 100 geese so my torso can’t even feel you any more. 100 geese died because of you. Avian blood on your hands. People want to hug me when I wear it so now I’m getting more love too. That back-fired on you didn’t it you sorry excuse for a meteorological event. Ha! I’m not even wearing thermals yet – it’s a joke. I just wish you weren’t so damn beautiful. Your crystal frost, your crisp morning air, your fleeting golden sun. I can say it now. I’m bigger than that. I’ll let you sting my face with your icy touch but that’s it.